A couple of posts bundled into One

I can't believe I did not post about G man's experience in Henri Bendel's and Bergdorf Goodman's when we were in NYC last month.

If any of you have been in a department store you know what happens when passing by the perfume and make up counters. Personal space is non existent and bodily assault can occur. Especially if one is not accustomed to preserving personal space with a scowl and a growl, that let the harbingers of cosmetics know to leave you alone. Poor G man, he is so innocent in the ways of the womanly world of shopping.


He accompanied me into Henri Bendel's with innocence and came out raped and pillaged. I knew enough not to engage with eye contact or words those whom ( who ?) herald the opulent creations of youth and corrections of one's horrific mistake of neglect to face, eyes and hands. G man hesitated for a second at a counter, made eye contact and they were upon him. Several sales ghouls were attempting to apply face cream and restorative eye creams upon his rugged face when I looked back to discover why he was not safely by my side in the hair accessory department.


"Oh Jesus, Joseph and Mary" I muttered. It was to late I knew what was going to happen so I did the only thing I could, I pretended not to know him. And then it happened more loud then I expected. An exasperated shout ...." Get away from me. Do I look like the kind of guy that would buy this crap?" "Stop it. Leave me alone. I don't want any more of this stuff on my face. Knock it off." Then silence.


The next minute G man was by my side making rude remarks,chuckling and trying to wipe off the goo so expertly applied to his face. Just as I was about to tell him how to avoid that fiasco in the future a foolish cosmetic demon appeared from the other world with more cream in her hand and with the stupid intention of patting it onto G man's face. Oh boy bad idea. He yelled so loud that many shoppers turned around and stared at the spectacle of him batting away the offensive hand, bobbing and weaving like a professional boxer, and bumping onto the displays of hairbands and pony tail holders. I'm not sure what happened next except that I grabbed G man and pulled him out of the store.


We couldn't help but laugh as we continued down 5th Ave and I explained the dos and don'ts of cosmetic counters. He did very well in Bergdorf Goodman and even bought me a fabulous Tom Ford perfume without incident.

2nd Post:

This morning while I was enjoying my cup of coffee at our breakfast counter, G man, all dressed and packed to go on the road, joined me for a cup of coffee. I was still sleepy and waiting for the caffeine to kick in but I was awake enough to notice that something was amiss with G mans face, especially around his eyes and cheeks. At first I thought the fuzziness from a night's sleep was affecting my vision, but when I inquired as to whether he had something wrong with his eyes and put ointment ( he's big on eye ointment), he said no. I shrugged and made a comment that his cheeks and eyes were really shiny.

To my amazement he blushed. I mean really turned noticeably red, and started rubbing his face, while telling me he used the sample of wrinkle cream he had from our trip to NY. Thankfully I did not have a mouthful of coffee because I let go with a loud and incredibly hysterical laugh. I have no control when it comes to G man being embarrassed.

Never in my life did I imagine G man being vain enough to use wrinkle cream. For years I have asked him to get a manicure and a pedicure for my own comfort. I hate having hang nails and rough callouses assault me in my sleep, or when...........use your imagination here. He refuses the mani and pedi because it's not manly. Ha! But applying wrinkle cream is OK?

Perhaps if I buy him a manicure set and a pumas stone he will secretly use them.