Childhood Nightmare

I knew eventually it would happen, it was a matter of time, an event that if it had to happen I hoped would occur when I was senile. In that frame of mind, who would care if it occurred, and would anyone be around to notice. At the very least I thought I would have a clue, notice a look or get an inkling from body language from someone, that something was not quite right. In my smug confident mindset, I had taken care of the problem before entering the dentist office.

The appointment was at 8am this morning, and thanks to a very frigid holding weather pattern the temperature was only 8 degrees. This particular weather pattern is part to blame for the nightmare unfolding, coming to fruition, me getting my comeuppance. I pay attention to the details, I know my body, and knew I did not want to be Linda T.

Linda T. was a fellow student at Sherman Elementary School. We were together through elementary school, same classes, same teachers. We sat close to each other, not because we were friends, because we were not, I am not sure why, we just never associated with each other after school or collaborated on school projects. We were forced to be in close proximity due to the alphabetical seating chart that was so widely used by those crazy creative teachers back in the 1960's. Linda's last name began with a T and mine began with an S. So it was destiny, or at least in a less dramatic way alphabetical seating charts that caused me to vow never to become a Linda T.

Have you ever wondered why mother nature made some of the most beautiful flowers out of proportion? Take the giant sunflower, its beautiful when it stands tall. The large green stalk with soft fuzz, proudly holding, displaying, the gigantic golden orange petals and black center, it truly is beautiful. But the flower head gets so large that it causes the stem to bend, losing its stature. Sadly bowing, no longer proud. That was Linda T. She had beautiful brown eyes, soft looking skin, but her nose was gigantic and it had hair in it!!

Because of the seating chart my desk was close Linda T. , sometimes side by side, or in a square with two other students, depending upon the whim of the teacher, most of the school day. And sometimes, thank god only sometimes, she had dangling nose crustacean, mucous left overs, BUGGERS, hanging from her nose. Couldn't she feel it?? Why didn't she have a tissue to wipe it away, or go to the girls room and wash her nose. UUUGGGH gross. I hated those days. Every time she breathed through her nose the buggers would move in and out. It was disgusting. I couldn't concentrate, if I said something she would be embarrassed, so I kept quite and tried not to look at her.

I vowed to never let that happen to me. To always have a tissue handy, flare my nostrils in the hall mirror, the rear view mirror, the vanity mirror on the passenger side of a car if I happen to be a passenger, in the bathroom mirror, or the small mirror I kept in my book bag( now in my handbag) before proceeding to the classroom, restaurant, friends house, or wherever I happen to be going.

I did the nostril flare before getting out of the car, not seeing anything I went into the dentist office. Once in there I used a tissue, as my nose began to drip. The hygienist called me into her room, and all went well. No cavities, minor tarter, an interesting conversation regarding menopause, and I was out of there. I chatted in the hallway with the dentist, made my appointment for six months, smiled at the other patients waiting their turn, and went to my car. No one said a thing, touched their noses, made an Ick face with their lips, you know the one I am referring too. The slightly curled upper lip, that is the universal signal for " you have something gross on your face, but I can't tell you, because we will both be embarrassed." Nope not an inkling from anyone.

To my embarrassment, and horror I noticed when I looked in the rear view mirror, a dangling crustacean, left over dried mucous clinging to a nose hair I did not have before I went into the dentist office, a BUGGER. So there is was, one of my childhood nightmares, staring at me in the mirror. I laughed, and said to myself, "unhuh, smart ass, that's what you get for being so smug. Hope you learned a lesson". I have. After wiping with a tissue I will find a mirror and flare my nostrils, I will check more often for nose hair, and remove them. I will never let this happen again, and I will not be Linda T.