His attitude and lectures are getting on my nerves so much that yesterday we had a big blow out. The blow out was over our trip to Europe. From the beginning of planning this trip I knew it was going to be difficult for G man to accept. He does not like to travel or take vacations. In the 34 years that I have known him we have NEVER taken a vacation together or taken one with the kids unless the time involved a business trip. NEVER a family vacation just for fun time. NEVER! Disney(3 times), Carefree Arizona (twice), Winter Park Colorado, NYC (many times), New Orleans (3 times), Chicago (many times), Dallas, Boston, Vegas (4 times), Cabo (Double G went with him). He manages to get a few extra days off to participate in the trip after the business portion concludes, but the whole time he is thinking about work, emailing or on the phone. He has won several trips to fabulous places through work only to make a deal to get the cash for the trips instead of going.
We have talked about traveling when he retires, which is still 15-20 years away. Renting a motor home and seeing the United States. He has never been to the Midwest and would like to see Yellowstone, Mount Rushmore, etc.... I'm in. I have seen those places as a kid and would love to experience them again. But after that nothing. I have talked about seeing the pyramids, kangaroos, Loch Ness, Stonehenge, Mayan Temples, Grey Friar's Bobby and lots more for years. G man has always said he is not sure about traveling outside the USA.
I have tried to talk up the places we are going to see, give him a little background and history, to which he usually walks away or changes the subject. Trying to share my excitement with him has proven to be a sore subject and is frustrating. His guy friends and business associates have all said, according to G man, the same thing as he has, why spend the money it is a waste. No return on investment, because there is no tangible investment. It's all about the money.
At the start of this plan I asked G man not to go, Jenny G and I would be fine. His answer was he couldn't, he didn't think we would be safe. Now he regrets his decision. He yelled at me last week that he has to miss 3 sales meetings and a show while we are gone. He can't leave his business, and according to G man his business associates have made that point clear. That they would never leave their business for 2 weeks, all hell would break loose and money would be lost, competitors will move in, money will be lost, the help can not make decisions while he is gone, mistakes will be made, money will be lost.
I know owning your own business is different from working for a large company. I know mistakes by employees are costly. Mistakes have happened while he is here. The competition is not going to move in while he is away anymore then they would if he was in town. It happens all the time. If G man brings his computer on the trip he will work most of the time we are away. There are always emails to answer, forms to fill out, fires to put out, questions and situations that require immediate answers. I know all this.
Jenny G asked asked him if he wanted to spend time as a family. His answer was yes, "we could do it here and not spend any money. Why do we have to spend the kind of money for this trip just to spend time together." Her reply was because "you are always working at home." He said "you enjoy the money, your car, the house and all the other benefits from my working so much, you don't understand how much time it takes......blah blah blah blah... she just walked away and said you are a miserable person working so much, you enjoy nothing." He replied "I enjoy the money. It's all about the money" "That's what you, your mother and brother don't get"
Oh I get it. SO go sleep with your money.
9 comments:
what is the money and the success worth if you don't enjoy it
i'm sorry he's being such a ... BOY!!
Sorry you're so frustrated! Hopefully he'll get it before it's too late. Money is great but I just want to die with no debt and I would be happy! Just keep trying to remember all the good things about him too!
WOW, that's incredibly sad.
It's about spending time with family and seeing the world. Getting outside your "bubble". What happens if he or you are not around come retirement time? People have to do stuff now while they have the chance and money.
You can't take the money with you when you die so why not enjoy life now?
Wow, that's kind of a harsh attitude. I hope it doesn't take some life changing event to help him see the light.
I hope he gets it before some life-altering event forces him to open up his eyes.
I thank my dad and mom every day for raising me the way he did, understanding what is really important.
I agree with Kirby and SkyDad.
Well as a person who has traveled the world a lot and saved very little, I wouldn't trade it for anything. To say I have nothing tangible to show for it is incorrect - for one, how about the smile on my face?
GMan should let you and JennyG go. If he doesn't want to, fine, but to say that you two are not safe sounds like just another excuse.
I can relate, Cheer. One of the things that I resent about Mr. Ex and my life together is how unimportant my wants / needs seemed to be to him when it came to acquisitions or expenditures. We took no vacations - and I must admit that I have / had trouble stopping to smell the roses.
I have concluded that some people need to "measure" their success in life. Money is easy to measure because it is quantifiable. Joy, love, happiness, experience, depth of character... not so easy to measure. You gotta *feel* them. That's hard for many.
I'm sure it will work out great. You guys sound very solid - but I sure can relate to the frustration!
UHHHH, cheer, you're not getting a divorce or something so we're not hearing from you are you???? J/K, hope all is well and we'll hear from you soon.
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