I have known G Man since we were both 16. At 18 he bought his first boat. A Jafco wood boat that needed to be caulked every season, swelled before the first outing and lots of other stuff I can not remember. Since that boat he has had 5 others. The last one before he bought our daughter the boat they both use now, was a 25 foot sleeper, with a kitchen and a tiny bathroom. I know these are not the nautical descriptions of the kitchen and bathroom etc, but I am not a boater so I really could care less if I use the correct terminology. Each boat he has owned has been progressively newer, larger and costlier.
When we were younger I used to go boating with G Man and friends only to beg him to take me into shore because I was burnt to a crisp after hours of sunning (which I should not have been doing as a redhead, freckled whitey) or I had enough of the boring laziness of sitting on the water with nothing to do but drink and swim. Did I mention I am not a swimmer either? Another story of the horror of childhood meanies that pretend to be teachers. Because there is not enough blog space to post all the stories about our boating mishaps I will list someof them with only a few details, so that you may understand why I do not like boating
1: wood boats are very heavy, when dumping from the trailer to the water one must hold the ropes to prevent the boat from smashing into other boats, as the very very very heavy wood boat, that is suppose to glide or float off the trailer, becomes a projectile because the owner of the wood boat backs up into the off loading dock at 30 miles an hour convinced he has to do it that way in order to get the boat off the trailer. SO at 115 lbs I am suppose to prevent the wood boat from smashing into other boats. HAHAHAHA.
2. New boat, tilt trailer, launching new boat for first time, pin pulled on tilt trailer, start to backup,boat slides half way off trailer in parking lot.HAHAHAHa
3. Father-in- law who has never driven a boat decides he can drive boat while we are waiting for G Man to get trailer to put boat on after a long day on the lake. Father in law guns the engine, he and I take off towards the extremely low bridge that will decapitate us and rip the windshield off the boat if we do not stop. Stopping is not something Father in law knows how to do, thank GOD we got hung up on a sandbar just feet before the bridge
4 wood boat being backed into the Erie Canal for the first run of the season. Using my new Cordoba with Corinthian leather to tow said boat and trailer. Friend is suppose to hold ropes to prevent boat from sailing away while G Man parks MY NEW Cordoba, friend lets go of ropes to pee in woods, boat floats away and starts to sink. G Man did not swell the boat properly. G Man jumps into nasty canal and tows the boat back with only his own strength and perseverance. Back at dock friend holds ropes while G Man gets MY NEW Cordoba to reload sinking boat. G Man backs up onto the launch but the boat has sunk more so he has to keep backing up, backing up, backing up and finally the boat is siting on the trailer properly. But G Man did not notice that MY NEW Cordoba had water in it up to the back seat because he had to back up into the canal so much to get the God damn boat of the trailer. AND the car stalled and would not restart because so much water got into the muffler system etc etc etc. Another friend owned a tow truck and had to come and pull MY NEW Cordoba, the trailer and the wood boat out of the canal.
There are so many other stories, so many more. I do not have the energy to write about them. But getting to the reason I started this post. Last night G Man went out on the boat and I met him at the north end of the lake at the Sand Bar ( it is a bar). We net a few friends there too. After an hour or so the weather started to turn ugly. Lots of lightening and the wind was picking up. G Man decided he should head for home, although I asked him to button up the boat and leave at the Sand Bar dock. But nooooooooo he could make home before the storm hit.
The storm hit 10 minutes into the ride home. I was driving our car and everyone else on the road pulled over because the rain and wind was so bad, but I kept driving trying to get to the marina to help G Man dock the boat. I knew G Man was in trouble on the lake but I was helpless. He called me on the cell phone and said he was moored at some one's cottage, and that he was never so scared in his life. G Man has been boating for 30 years, I have never heard him say he was scared when he has been boating. Never, not once. So I knew it must have been really bad. He said the lake looked calm and he would head for home again. I waited about 15minutes and saw two boats pass the marina. I knew the second boat was him. I tried calling him on the cell 3 times and got no answer. Ten minutes later he called me, said he had no idea where he was, could not see any land marks, and his cell phone was going dead. He knew he was heading south and was going to turn around and head back north. I told him I was at the Marina with the headlights on and would flash them when I saw him. Ten minutes later G Man was pulling into the marina. We both scrambled to cover the boat, it wasn't raining anymore, but the lightening was every few seconds and the wind was terrible.
Once home I allowed the stupid man that I married to sleep peacefully. I should have done something terrible to him though. The guy had the nerve to tell me this morning last night's mishap was my fault. He wanted to leave the bar earlier but becasue I was having a good time, he didn't leave or say anything.
Tonight we are watching my boyfriend Randy Couture fight on pay per view.
